The alarm goes off and you hit it and roll over. You know that the extra few minutes of sleep will not help with the underlying "tiredness" you have been hauling around within you ever since you were assualted.
Your husband comes back into the room and gently leans down to kiss you while stating "Good Morning, Love". You jump when his lips touch your cheek and shudder throughout your core. Images of the assualt start flooding you and you wonder how in the world are you going to make it through another day. The alarm tolls and reluctantly you drag yourself out of the bed all the while noting that your husband kiss, your innocent husband, who has never laid a hand on you or forced you to do anything you did not want to do, mere presence in the bedroom has you shaking like a leaf. You berate yourself internally. "What is the matter with me? Why am I letting this traumatic event affect me so much? A lot of other people have been through traumas that are so much worse!!! I have got to pull myself out of this; You have kids for God's Sake! AND IT IS OVER!!! It is in the past!!!
DO you ever find yourself berating yourself for experiencing an event which has literally rerouted your life direction. You know the traumatic event was not your fault. But you cannot stop ruminating about the fact that if you had only...? Or, maybe God/ the Universe is punishing you for...? If only you had...!